When September Ends

To be truthful, I have a bunch of anxiety about all the photos of my own kids.  I NEED to get them in to albums, which will take a good couple weeks, depending on how I decide to do it.  I’m thinking about just making a yearly album that includes photos of all of them and buy 3 of the same one.  Sounds easier….but then I think maybe I should just do one for each of them.  And, then I think about the fact that they are likely in each others photos and we’re back to plan A.  It’s settled then.  But now I need to go back a few years.  No kidding.  And, insert the anxiety!

I am very type A and do things in a particular way that I analyzed for awhile.  I cannot help it.  I don’t always like it and I realize where I need to let go.  Oh, stress.

I think we’re all a bit stressed out.  And then I suggest we find ways to relax because it just does not feel good.

I often wonder about my health issues and how much they are related to stress.  Chronic stress.  The never ending ‘To Do” lists and standards to live up to.  Usually the ones I’ve only created for myself.

Speaking of my health, I wanted to talk about this more since my post in August or beginning of September.  I was going to make a case for Lyme.

What I think the most challenging thing about my GI health is the fact that I do not know what is wrong.  It has been nearly 2 years of battling my symptoms of mostly major bloating and slow motility.  2 things I’ve never experienced before in my life.

Then you add in things like brain fog, weight-gain, mood swings, exhaustion, ear ringing, and even stomach burning.  I’ve had the burning about 3 times now, back in the spring.  I would wake up in the middle of the night with what felt like the most painful thing I’ve ever felt.  TUMS were the only thing calming those episodes.

Thinking about the last bit I’d go with gallbladder issues.  But, I have not had that since.  Then the items previously in the list and as my current doctor said, I have a case of hypothyroidism.  The bloating though?  Not sure.  And, that is by far the most exhausting and frustrating symptom.

There is something known as Lyme GI where you basically experience paralysis of the GI.  I tested for Lyme Borrelia and results were negative. But the thing to know is Lyme tests (and there are a few) are horribly unreliable.  You can have false negatives, for example.  I know that could happen because when the bacteria are in cystic form they will not react to the test.

From my knowledge (which is admittedly not much except what Joe and my dr. have shared) the only reliable test would be the 16 week culture (about $1,000.00 and not FDA approved so insurance won’t cover it) BUT you are only able to measure Borrelia bacteria.  That is the same with most Lyme tests.  HOWEVER, Borrelia is not the only bacteria ticks can transmit.  Then you need to consider co-infections and the tests are again not very reliable.

So, my doctor decided to treat me.  I started Minocycline and Hydroxychloroquine and Samento the Wed. before Father’s Day.  Father’s Day and the next day were so awesome!  I was feeling amazing amazing amazing.  And, I have only felt that good about 2 days since.

The reason I’d go with Lyme at this point is the infections are horrible.  They are ‘smart’ and protect themselves.  They go through cycles and patients often experience ups and downs.  Their evenings tend to be worse (this is me me me!!).

About 4 weeks ago I started Armor which is a thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH).  My TSH numbers in May were 2.8 (about, or 2.6).  The normal range is .5 to 3.5.  The more TSH the thought is the harder you’re working to achieve optimal thyroid functioning, so it wouldn’t be optimal if it is high.  If it is low your thyroid may be working too much and you’d be hyperthyroid.

Well, I have just not been feeling the best the past couple of months.  I eat very well, take a load of supplements to be healthy, get about 7-9 hrs of sleep a night, use my earthing sheets, exercise, you name it.  So, we decided to try TSH’s and see how I do.

I retested last week and my TSH was about .68, meaning I am not producing as much on my own because I don’t have to now that I’m supplementing.  And, honestly I do not feel much different than when I was not taking anything.  I did feel better for about 1.5 weeks and this past week I have been back to my usual bloated self. I should be warmer, be having regular bowel movements, be less ‘foggy’ in the brain, and warmer.  Well, I’m not sure any of that is better.  Maybe a tad.

I struggle so much with my mood from all this.  It is the absolute most challenging and draining thing to not feel good.  I remain a bit hopeful but I just don’t know.  All I can do is keep trying and wait.  There has to be a reason.  Every time I start something I feel good for a bit, then I’m back to this.  I struggle with it.  I sometimes wonder if it’s all in my head though I know it’s not.  I am gaining a load of empathy I’ll tell you.

On the upside, I do find the joy in this.  I am eating healthy and my kids are, too. I’m appreciating real food and learning how to cook and bake Paleo foods from scratch.   I am learning to take care of myself.  I can appreciate the fact that I can afford the health care, though I don’t know how.  It amazes me.  I know Who has this.  Jesus suffered too.  We are to appreciate the trials and tribulations.  This is only temporary.  For that I can be appreciative.

I can look beyond this and appreciate my family and how blessed I am.  This past month of photos are testimonies of those blessings.

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